Too much torque? Maybe use a smaller screwdriver or set your drill/driver clutch to a lower number.
Less torque, maybe, but you should always use the size driver the screw is designed for, if you ever want to remove the screw. (A little hyperbole, perhaps, but the point is still valid.)
Stainless Steel is a complex alloy with complex oxides; also MANY different recipes (slightly stainless, sea-ship stainless, superheated boiler stainless, strong stainless). I could believe different results for different users of different parts. And there's no handy way to know "which" recipe your SS is.
I would favor a grease. Since this isn't engine-cooking, I'd expect many general-duty greases will work, and NAPA brand Lithium spray is my friend. Messy, but you wipe 99% off the thread (and bench and face) and that's all you need. I also use Disk Brake Grease for places I do not want to spray. It starts as a nasty black grease. If you run your brakes red-hot, it degrades to graphite flakes. Again, you want to rub-in then rub-off the excess-- you really just want to seal the surface, not leave a grease-pit situation.
Well, it's pretty easy to know exactly what your screws are made of - buy from a good supplier who carries rated screws. I always go for 18-8 stainless, but just because it is a good general purpose alloy that is available for just about ever screw type.
The way I have had screw seizing explained to me - by bicycle mechanics, who deal with seized screws all the time - is that similar metals, screwed together, are always at risk of seizing up because their oxides sort of "weld" together. Certainly, if they are left for much time with no lubricant, it is very likely they will seize. For grease, I use the same stuff as I use on my bicycle, since I've got it hanging around and it is intended for screws under a wide variety of loads. But then, I already have that on hand. Pretty much any lubricant that stays in place will help. You could also use wax or a weak thread-locker (usually the blue stuff, though Loc-tite Purple is even weaker and would work well too). Thread locker does, yes, hold the screw in place, but also puts a thin layer of plastic between the two surfaces so they can't seize. The real trick is just to use SOMETHING.
Gabriel