Hi Jatchley,
Interesting Project

I will attempt to answer some questions based on my experience.
Just for Clarity, Ian's connector is a DIN41612 BC, 64 Pins used and true, too high for a 2RU chassis. Some manufacturers lay these down for a stereo device BUT this may limit your space for power supplies, etc. Your alternate would be a DIN 41623 C/2 (half length) with 32 pins (2x16).
Anyway continuing on, I have used a DC heater (schematic attached) very successfully and it it important the input voltage always stays above 15.5V. Typically for this project, I would use a transformer with secodaries at 240V@125mA and 12V@2A. As long as your voltage doubler is capable of 16V plus, no problems and you may need a heatsink on you LM7812T. Your meters would be best run off a small 47R ? resistor and a 100uF 25V Electro capacitor. (I'd go for LEDs in the meters, plenty of colour choices, no heat). With your HT (+250V) supply. I don't see any real problems as I have used a similar circuit. You could split and decouple L and R +HT if you wanted to.
If you use Output balancing Tx, feed the 2 wires to pins 2 and 3 of XLR, same colours for same pins ie maintaining correct Phase. Pin 1 to chassis is common. If you end up with Earth loops that will require a rethink of input/output ground connections.
It would be good if you could draw up your final schematic, as I'm unclear about you "Pot" question.
You DO NOT run a lead from Pot to XLR as you already have a gain control. Thus a schematic would give us clarity

Trust this helps a little.
Kind regards
Mirek