SAFETY GUIDE FOR ST PATRICK'S DAY

[supro66]

[Ritchie200]

 ;D ;D ;D
THose are good....been to a few of them - back in the day!  Nowadays I buy expensive imported beer, pour it down the middle of a big 'ol glass, crank back in my easy chair, and enjoy the moment!  My wife calls me a beer snob, but after spending a lot of time in the UK drinking REAL beer, I can hardly knock down a bud light anymore - unless it's 115 degrees out!

My oldest daughter (who will be a sweet 16) was born on St. Patty's Day.  I used to think it was kind-of cute as my wife is part Irish.  The more I think about it, the more I am dreading her college days.... :-\ :-\ :-\  It's hard to cut the cord, I'm sure all the dads with daughters here will agree with me! :'(

Jim

[supro66]

When you say back in your day

Did you do this

This Texan walks into a pub on St. Patty's day, swaggers up to the bar and slaps a $100 bill on the top.

"Woooo, hee! I'll give this Benjamin Franklin to the cowpoke that can drink ten pints of Guiness in fifteen minutes!"

Everyone looks over at the guy with the ten gallon hat and sort of looks away. One fellow even walks out of the bar.

About twenty minutes later, the gentleman who left the bar walked back in and went up to the Texan. He asks sheepishly with his Irish brogue, "Sir, is your offer still on the table?"

"Why sure it is! You think you can win this $100?"

"I'm not sure, but I'll give it a try."

Sure enough, the gentleman pulls up a barstool, the Texan orders ten pints and the kind fellow starts to drink. Eleven and a half minutes later, the fellow takes the last pull from the tenth pint to a round of applause.

"Well, shoot! I didn't know you had it in you! If you don't mind me asking, where did you go before you took me up on the bet?"

"Well," said the man as he pocketed the $100, "I had to go to the pub next door to see if I could do it first before I took you up on your offer."

[EL34]

Nowadays I buy expensive imported beer

Why on earth would you buy imported beer when we have 11,000 micro brewries here is the US.

There's even Belgian brewries that make the beer here instead of having the beer sit on a ship and cross the atlantic.
These are off the scale awesome beers
http://www.ommegang.com/?mcat=1&scat=0

I have to ask what you are importing, and please don't say you drink Heinycrackin, omg!

[Frankenamp]

AHA! I finally figger'd it out! I thought that there was something oddly familiar with Doug's Icon. Then it hit me (not the robot silly) that is the robot version of Homer Simson goin "doh-doh-doh..."


EDIT:
This got me in trouble:
(from the above mentioned advert)

Try Ommegang Witte at:
a picnic with light summer foods, appetizers, salads, and barbeques. Or while sitting on the beach, watching clouds drift by.
Reviews:
"Wonderfully cloudy, exceedingly pale, and with a fast, noisy head, this beer gets off to a good start.

I made the mistake of reading the first three-quarters of the sentence aloud and ending said sentence fragment with " Ah! sounds just like my evil stepdaughter..."

The next five minutes started with uncontrolled snickering, and finished with evil stepdaughter removing her right slipper and beating me about the head, shoulders, and every unprotected body part... ;D  yelling: "Take that back! Take that back! Take that back!..."

[EL34]

That's a good one.
Someone probably came up with the description that also has an evil step daughter.

[billcreller]

I haven't had any really good beer since I left Germany in 1955 ;D

[Dynaflow]

 There's your new Hobby! Check out those micro Breweries some of them are mighty fine drinking...  :)

Regards,

Dyna

[Ritchie200]

My winter beer is Young's Double Chocolate Stout.
My all around off the shelf is Newcastle, it is so right.
Summer beer is Thornbridge Hall ale.  Beckets or Smithwick is good too.
Any cider by Gwynt y Ddraig is good - but only if you can stay sitting down 'till it wears off!
My fav German beer is a micro in Rinteln called Waldkatter.

If you can't drink it at 45 deg and have it taste good, it's cheap suds!

Jim

[supro66]

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time
removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled
with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"S'cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had
done,

"what was that all about?" "Nothin', said the Irishman, "me wife just
sent me out for a jar of olives!"

***********************************************

The Lost Luggage

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered
around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks.

An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.
"No," replied the Irishman.

"I've lost all me luggage!"

"How'd that happen?"

"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.

***********************************************
Water to wine

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for
 speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and
 then sees an empty wine bottle on the
 floor of the car.
 
 
 He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
 
 "Just water," says the priest.
 
 The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
 
 The priest looks at the bottle and says,
 
 "Good Lord! He's done it again!"


 ***********************************************
 
 The Brothel
 
 Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub having beer and watching the brothel
 across the street.
 
 They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said,
 
"Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."

 Then they saw a Rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said,
 
 "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are falling' victim to
 temptation."

Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the
 Irishmen said,
 
"What a terrible pity... one of the girls must be quite ill."
 
***********************************************
 Lost at Sea
 
Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a
 dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the
 boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp.
 
 Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp
 vigorously... To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. Th
is
 particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish,
 not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter,
 Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!" The
 genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the
 entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
 Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness
 on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their
 circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been
 granted.
 
 After a long, tension-fille d moment, he spoke:
 
>"Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!
 
 ***********************************************
 
 The Fall
 
 Murphy was staggering home with a pint of booze
 
 in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily.
 
 Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.
 
 "Please Lord," he implored, "let it be blood!!"

[madison]

My fav German beer is a micro in Rinteln called Waldkatter.

I used to drink Hacker Pschorr Hefeweizen.
With a slice of lemon on the rim.
Good Lord that was tasty!
Used to live 1/2 block from the best German pub in Minneapolis.
It was dangerous living that close.
Like "Cheers" in that place...........they definitely knew me name.

[supro66]

My fav German beer is a micro in Rinteln called Waldkatter.

I Used to live 1/2 block from the best German pub in Minneapolis.
It was dangerous living that close.
Like "Cheers" in that place...........they definitely knew me name.

I know just what you are talking about
Every time I walk in to my Gin Mill I think I am the Messiah
They say JC are you here again

CHEERS

[/b]