fun with my beater

[billcreller]

 My old 1985 FWD Caddy Fleetwood beater didn't want to cooperate Friday, no starter power.  But the lights worked.  I replaced the ignition switch.  A real fun job. It's on the top side of the steering column, just behind the dash.  Behind the dash is where the "compressed" wiring bundles are.  At least they must have been compressed in order to get that much wire in that space.

 Dropping the steering column was the only way it could be done. Getting it adjusted took twice the time as it did to put it in.
 And since I seem to be a glutton for punishment, I replaced the ignition lock cylinder today.  There's another trip.  It has a tilt/telescoping steering column.
  And after all that, it actually works again.  Very few swear words were used for this process also.  I'm getting more mellow as time goes by.......

[Madison]

No cuss words?
Something is wrong.
How about bloody/broken knuckles?

I use to have a 72 ElDorado for a spell.
Yes, the 500 cid.(8.2L) FWD monster.
Was a clean California car.
Seated 6 comfy, that's not including the trunk that could sleep 3.

I had a 1970s Gutless that had the steering column actually bust at the tilt bearing joint from abuse.
It landed in my lap when it broke and I drove home as such.
Replacing the entire column with a used one was not exactly fun......and the color didn't match when complete  

Glad you got yours back together again.

[PRR]

> I replaced the ignition switch.

On some older Volvos, switch in the dash where it belongs, the switch and ignition coil were tied together with an armored cable. All the places you could hot-wire to steal the car were out of easy reach.

Of course the switch failed on my lover's car. And we could not afford the $180 the dealer wanted for the whole unit, nor the 3 weeks estimated delivery.

I forget the details of my fix. Something like a Chevy coil and a triple switch bracket. The high-tension and points-wire were exposed; I guess they didn't figure thieves carried coils. So a toggle for ignition, a toggle for accessories, and a button for the starter.

I've seen under an 80's GM dash (heck, I have a '92 hidden behind the chicken shack) and agree that your job may be rougher than that Volvo.

[loogie]

I had an Fairlane once.  '64, I think.  My Dad (EE) gave it to me.  Somewhere along the line he'd lost the keys.  So he put two toggle switches on the dash: one to turn on the ignition and a momentary switch for the starter.  After I had it for a while one of the transmission mounts fell off (three on the tree) so I bolted a piece of 2 x 4 to the underside of the tunnel wedged up against the bell housing which kept the transmission located so the universal joint wouldn't rattle against the floor -- except when I made a real hard turn.  Worked pretty good with the added benefit that since the transmission was now directly coupled to the floor all the whirring and grinding it made filled the interior with the most wonderful sound. Great tone. 

I ended up selling it to an old man for sixty-five bucks.  The only reason he bought was so that we could stop at the bar on our way back from the notary.  He wasn't allowed to smoke or drink.  We had a couple of beers and he let me take the Pall-Malls home.  Just before we left the bar he turned to the barmaid and said 'Gimme some of those Sen-Sens.'

[DummyLoad]

damn! don't y'all know how to drive junk...   

So a toggle for ignition, a toggle for accessories, and a button for the starter.

circa 1989, i was living in cali at the time and had the same thing happen to my cousins 1970 datsun B510 that was more or less the communal car for the apt complex we lived in... trip to the junk yard: part with same issues. trip to the dealer: you want what for a what?? ...ensuing laughs. trip to marine supply store and a couple of hours later, marine grade toggle and momentary in the dash panel. no one could figure out how to start it. i guess they thought the switches were for fog lamps or some such.

absolutely the worst POS i've ever nurtured along was a 1971 super beetle... god, what an abortion of a car.  jeez! the brakes, the electrical, the clutch cabling, the shifter linkage, the charging system, the deplorable wipers, the horrible valve-train, the lousy carburation. etc., etc.. 

[PRR]

> worst POS i've ever nurtured along was a 1971 super beetle... god, what an abortion of a car.  jeez!

Guy across the street traded a good-running 1953 Studebaker for a 1974 StupidBeetle.

I like the original Beetle (moreso in its proper time), but to me the Stude is a MUCH better car. After a tuneup and rubber-check, it will drive anywhere in comfort.

The Stupor Beetle fixed some Bug flaws and added many new ones.

This one wasn't the worst I've seen. It ran bad, and needed a tuneup just to find what else was wrong with the engine. It was OK if you drive over-souped motorcycles (as this guy does) but I know a Bug engine should run nicer.

And it had the wrong wheels and sorry tires. And it felt un-loved (the guy who traded it off didn't really want it, he just talked it up to unload it). 

And it reeked of gasoline. On a hard turn gas actually spilled out the side!! The original-recipe Bug, you opened the front hood to fuel-up. The S-Bug fueled like a normal car: door in the side. Groovy! Except VW never did that before, and didn't do it right. So they did it again different. There's like 5 different filler-necks in S-Beetles. It's such a trouble-spot that some S-Bug fans convert back to the classic tank (open the hood to re-fuel).

But George wants to sell it. And in this area, a "cute" Beetle may be easiler to unload on some ex-flowerchild than a massive and (in some eyes) ugly Studebaker.

I do remember one model of Datsun, ate alternators, and they cost _$600_!! There was a rash of thefts in NYC: just the alternator, nothing else taken.

Dunno why you needed keys for a 1964 Fairlane. There were only about 12 keys fit all Fords, and once the wafers wore any key (or some screwdrivers) would turn the switch.

[billcreller]

 The last Ford I owned was a 1963 Fairlane, with the second year for the little Ford small block, 221 cubic inches, which of course evolved into the 260, 289, 302 etc.. I have to say that it was a nice little engine, and had more power than what I gave it credit for, and even with the two-speed Fordomatic, it was quite zippy.  The front suspension was a problem though.  The front springs would shift around in the A frames, making it pull one way one day, and the other way on a different day

 But my old Caddy is a great driver, and handles nice, even though the 4.1 engine is one of the 10 worst engines ever built.

[DummyLoad]

There were only about 12 keys fit all Fords,

a locksmith told me 13... and one the easiest to cut a new key for.    i had a 69 torino fastback, 390gt, 4spd t-10, posi - the key from my dad's 80 ford P/U fit. i miss that car. was out shooting some tracers one night, was a bit tipsy, radar detector fell off the dash, trying to pick it up, i ran off the road into a drainage ditch, gt got totaled. somehow my buddy and i and the garand survived without a scratch.  salvaged engine, tranny, and pedals and put them in a 69 torino coupe body. sold car when i went back to college to pay for tuition.

 

[loogie]

I had an 80's Ford Ranger.  It was winter and I hopped out for some reason leaving the motor running so it would stay warm.  Like an idiot I locked the door and of course I didn't have a spare key.  I could have called a Cop, but my buddy suggested I call a locksmith, so I did.  We went for coffee and when I got back he was standing next to the driver's side door, looking through the window glass at the bundle of keys hanging from the ignition switch, file in hand and key blank.  He'd spotted the spare ignition key hanging from the key ring (great place for it) and like an artist he would look at it, file for a minute, look again, file.  It took him only a few minutes to carve up a new key based on what he saw hanging inside.  I was impressed.

[PRR]

> only a few minutes to carve up a new key based on what he saw

It's art; it's not magic.

There's 5 or 7 pins; each pin is one of 3 depths. (Newer locks may have more pins and more possible depths; but into the 1980s they kept it simple/cheap.)

Just like you can see/hear chords, strings, fingerings, a good locksmith sees pins and depths. A very good eye can see a key once and know "H-M-M-L-H", and know how low a Ford "L" notch should be.

There's also the lengthwise grooves. IIRC, Ford didn't have them. My three Japanese cars do, but I just noticed they all seem to be the same! (One Mazda, two Honda.) If there are different blanks with different grooves, the experienced key-cutter knows them on sight so he can grab the right blank. And these grooves give an additional guide to notch-depth.

If you know enough about locks, you know that nearly any lock will open quickly, sometimes quicker than you can find your keys.

OTOH, in decades of locking equipment closets in an urban open-buildings school, I never saw a lock picked. Tire-iron was the tool of choice.

And locksmiths can miss the obvious. Sliding cabinet door in Nancy's office. I happened by and the locksmith was starting to spread his picks and warm his hands. I said "wait" and lifted the door off the track enough to clear the latch.