... Compression reduces the loud part and does nothing to the soft part. ... At the output of a professional compressor there is a gain control. Since you have reduced your signal in the compressor you need to bring it back up before going to the next stage. ...
But the compressor (or limiter) reduces the number of dB from "softest" to "loudest". So the
average is bigger than it would be before compression (or after expansion). But I know what you mean; technically, the peaks have been reduced. I submit that people compress to either increase the actual average loudness, or to give the
impression of loudness, by raising the volume of the quiet parts of a sound (like snare rattle after the initial whack).
Radio stations squash the hell out of the music the broadcast so they can be the loudest station (the one everyone can pick up) without overmodulating the transmitter and being fined by the FCC.
What I'm really trying to say is it's not about compression. It's about output stage distortion. You want to be able to crank up to get "the sound". So either your family needs to change their view on what is "too loud" or you need a smaller output stage.
Having owned Champs and Princetons (reverb and non-, tweed and blackface) as well as bigger amps, I can tell you that even a Champ might be too loud for some family.
Save your time. Don't try to figure out how to get more compression (that's easy to do, right now, for cheap), get a smaller output stage.