Shooter said the nfb goes with the tap and not the speaker load
Normally, yes.
Power = Voltage
2 / Impedance, and so
Voltage = √(Power * Impedance)
Your amp is designed for a certain power output. Pick an OT secondary tap, and there will be a certain voltage present at a given power output. That "certain voltage" is the source of feedback voltage, which is then divided down and injected earlier in the amp.
Regardless of which OT secondary tap you attach a speaker load, when you play through the amp all of the taps are energized with a voltage proportional to the tap's impedance. Leaving the NFB loop attached to a single tap when changing which tap feeds the speaker keeps a consistent NFB voltage.
What's the scenario if I have a single tap Ot (8 0hm) and I want to hook up a remote speaker in parallel giving me a 4 ohm load. I know it affects the power tubes some
Does that mess withe NFB loop at all??
Indirectly.
If you attach 4Ω (or 16 Ω) of speaker to an 8Ω tap, the reflected primary impedance is different. Power output will probably drop a little. That will leave a little less voltage on your 8Ω tap (in accordance with the formula above) than if you'd attached an 8Ω load. So we should expect NFB will be a little-reduced.
You'd probably get a lot more possible NFB reduction with a variable series resistor in the feedback loop, than in this case of mis-loading with 4Ω on the 8Ω tap. Sluckey is right that maybe you'll hear a difference, but you'll also definitely hear a sonic difference (even with no NFB) due to the extra speaker and its contribution.