Can it work between J3 & C13, after the presence control and before the PI?
I think not...but that's my opinion.
It looks like this thing has a tube buffered fx loop after the master. Am I right?
I think not. See signal flow drawing below, so that you will understand how your amp preamp signal goes to your FX loop and returns from it. Also, FX loop is passive, not active buffered. A buffered FX loop would need a tube to drive (generally a CF design) the sending jack and receive the returning jack also into tube stage, which is not the case here...
IMHO, I'd do it by replacing R11 with 500KA pot so that your master volume would prior to a gain stage. It will also work for the amp pre as well (turn it full on and your amp will be back to stock specs).
Another option would be a post PI master volume, which would allow you to use V3 as a gain stage to drive the P.I. harder and generate more distortion. Your stand alone preamp should have a output level control, this way you can blend it's output and P.I. driving signal. Just replace R24 & R25 with a dual ganged 250KA pot. Turn it full on and your amp will be back to stock specs). Also search for LARMAR PPIMV for more instructions on how to do it right.
See drawings below...
Hope this helps,
Best Regards
R.